Taking on 2009

Okay, so in all honestly 2008 tried to kill me. I really think one of its main objectives was to take me out. I lost people I cared about, almost didn’t wake up from unconsciousness, faced heavy criticism, and almost forgot my name. Yes, I broke, but as 2008 turns into 2009 I can finally say to myself that I am not the worse for it. My body is stronger than it ever has been and my brains and heart are working hard to catch up. I realize that someday I’ll probably only remember everything good that happened this year, the places I went, time spent with friends, the sweet notes from my daughters, but right now the battle of 2008 is still too fresh for me to drop my guard.

A few nights ago I was watching The Dark Knight again and laughed, in kind of a sick way, when Joker says, “Whatever doesn’t kill you simply makes you…stranger.” Although I’m concentrating on getting stronger not stranger, sometimes it takes more courage to fall apart and then get back up again than to simply turn everything off and pretend like nothing is wrong. Strange is real. Sterile is not.

So while at first I didn’t want to think about starting a new year, it’s beginning to enthrall me. 2009 is a mystery. I’m scared and excited. I don’t feel ready to start another 365 days over again but I want to. Because, really, as I brace myself in the last of the chaos of 2008 I’m not so broken as to not savor the challenge of the future. I’m taking on 2009.

P.S. Right after I wrote this I had a slight accident (on foot), got a concussion, had to get stitched up, and a tetanus shot to top it off. Someone help me make it through New Year’s Eve!!!