I'm a girl and my name's not Justin.

I never thought I’d be a guy pursued by a very determined woman. My phone somehow turned me into one. It’s not all that great. Unluckily, the person that texts me on the most regular basis is a woman that I’ve never met, “Erika”. She thinks I’m Justin and she is just not giving up.

A couple months ago I got the first strange text, a rather stupid riddle. It came from an area code where I know a lot of people so I texted back asking who it was. You never know when a friend might go crazy. Well, it wasn’t a friend and the woman who answered thought I was joking. I didn’t respond. Undeterred, Erika sent me several more texts, convinced that I was Justin. I never answered but continued to find out more about her than I ever wanted to know. She was never coy about coming after me or her life, even though she was in a relationship with someone else and Justin never responded. Justin was definitely not interested but she didn’t care.

Recently, after “Erika” sent a seemingly heartfelt apology (long story why) I felt bad for her and tried to convince her one more time that she had the wrong number. She accused me (Justin) of lying. After everything else she said during her fit I didn’t feel sorry for her anymore, and won’t. It’s not easy being a guy pursued by a psychotic woman.

Although I’d rather see a friend’s name appear on my phone, more often than not it’s Erika. The dirty jokes she sends are never funny and when she tries to be clever it’s just embarrassing. I’m not trying to be too hard on her but I have a hard time believing Justin is worth the fuss she’s making. In real life he’s obviously a guy who gave her a fake phone number (mine, thanks a lot!). Then again after being pursued by Erika myself I can’t say I blame him. She obviously can’t take no for an answer. Poor girl, that’s all she’s going to get!